With Valentine’s Day today, it seems that it is a sin to be single, but really, is it not good being single?
[otw_shortcode_tabslayout tabs=”2″ tab_1_title=”Simplified Chinese” tab_1_content=”跟一个人在一起真的会比较开心吗？答案是不一定。过去研究显示，并不是找一个人陪你就能幸福，而是「让你愉快的人际关系」才能让你幸福。重要的不是身边有没有伴，而是他能否有效地陪伴。如果你害怕伤心的时候，他都不在你身边，若你需要安慰照料的时候，他都只以冷漠相对，那么你只是在虚假的恋爱壳里面，一天拖过一天地自我欺骗。
一个人虽然有一个人的寂寞，两个人仍然存在两个人的孤单。如果陪在你身边的他无法听你、看你、给你关怀，那么这样的关系里不但得不到温柔，还让你感到更多无奈和寂寞。
发现了吗？真正主导我们寂寞感受的，不是一个人或两个人，而是你觉得你现在的生活，究竟足不足够？如果他无法给你更多，你就得学会给自己多一点成熟。没错，爱不会为谁倒退一秒，但你可以选择空出几个小时让自己过得好。
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跟一個人在一起真的會比較開心嗎？答案是不一定。過去研究顯示，並不是找一個人陪你就能幸福，而是「讓你愉快的人際關係」才能讓你幸福。重要的不是身邊有沒有伴，而是他能否有效地陪伴。如果你害怕傷心的時候，他都不在你身邊，若你需要安慰照料的時候，他都只以冷漠相對，那麼你只是在虛假的戀愛殼裡面，一天拖過一天地自我欺騙。
一個人雖然有一個人的寂寞，兩個人仍然存在兩個人的孤單。如果陪在你身邊的他無法聽你、看你、給你關懷，那麼這樣的關係裡不但得不到溫柔，還讓你感到更多無奈和寂寞。
發現了嗎？真正主導我們寂寞感受的，不是一個人或兩個人，而是你覺得你現在的生活，究竟足不足夠？如果他無法給你更多，你就得學會給自己多一點成熟。沒錯，愛不會為誰倒退一秒，但你可以選擇空出幾個小時讓自己過得好。
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English translation:
Does being with someone really make someone happier? The answer is not necessarily. Past research shows that it is not just finding someone to accompany you will get you happiness, but “the relationship that makes you happy” it the one that gives you happiness. The important thing is not whether there is a companion around, but whether he/she can accompany you effectively. If you are in a sad or fear condition, he/she is not by your side, if he/she treats you coldly when you need comfort and care, then you are only in a fake love shell, deceiving your own self day after day.
Although a person has one-person loneliness, two people still have the loneliness of two people. If the one who is by your side can’t listen to you, look after you, to give you care, then this relationship is not only in the lack of gentleness, but also make you feel more helpless and lonely.
Do you realize it? What really dominates our lonely feelings is not one person or two people, but your feelings about your present life; is it enough after all? If he/she can’t give you more, you have to learn to give yourself a little more maturity. That’s right, love won’t go back for a second, but you can choose to spend a few hours to make yourself better.
Special notes:
- 足夠 – zúgòu – enough
Article is rewritten from here, to suit the level of the Chinese reader. The photo is taken from here.